It's good to admit that you actually do need people when so often you lie to yourself, saying you don't. It takes a lot of energy to be fortified against one's weakness. I'm not sure where that lie came from. This notion that self reliance is sustainable. "No man is an island." So they say.
I wonder when my idea of community became synonymous with the idea of weakness. And then in an ironic twist I realize that they probably are one in the same. That is to say, in community, individual weakness paves the way for communal strength. A strength and stability much stronger than anything you might have experienced out there on your own. It's funny how an eclectic concoction of weaknesses creates something very strong. A bunch of weak parts making up something complete.
Being vulnerable is dangerous we must admit. It's not something most people probably relish. And yet that's what we desire to be. It's hard to deny that something in you longs to be known. And the only way to be known is to be vulnerable. To depend on others.
Mix all this in with the fact that people hurt us. It's a sad truth, yes. The instruments that deliver the most excruciating and destructive pain are the very things that bring us closer to life. It's an unfortunate paradox to be sure. Much of life is made up of these unfortunate paradoxes. We're left with a decision: Shall we deny the truth that we actually need others and live what would initially seem like a life of relative ease and comfort? Some might tell you that you may not be living life at all should you take this route. Or shall we take company in the presence of the weak exposing our brokeness and, in effect, taking in a much deeper breadth of life. The potential cost is severe but it may pale in comparison to the life you could potentially live.
It's funny how often the idea of being strong and courageous drive our actions. This often molds our ideas of and draws us into independent living. I find that a relationshal life lived in the context of vulnerability takes more courage than any other way of life I can think of. And sadly, so often it takes more courage than I can summon.
1 comment:
i wonder why it has to be that the very thing that can allow for the deepest joy, that being intimacy and vulnerability in relationships, is also that which causes the deepest pain. the only pre-requisite for rejection is relationship, while at the same time relationship is also required for true connectedness and the discovery of life that is not experienced in solitude. it's frightening entering into that which will potentially leave you only scarred and wounded or satisfyingly safe and grateful. i dare say, through my wounds, it's worth it
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